I recently visited friends in my hometown – Jersey City. As I walked from the subway to their home, the new World Trade Center peered from across the Hudson River.
At first glance, it took my breath away — at once stately, massive, and determined while simultaneously serene. I found myself transfixed. Initially memories of the horror of the past flashed. But truthfully those were quick to evaporate. They were replaced with marvel! It is a physical site to behold yet much, much more than that. It is awe inspiring! It touches one’s heart as it reaches into one’s soul. It proclaims endurance, determination and resilience. It is testament to humanity’s capacity to start over, to begin anew. . .
It reminded me of our journey through life. We face calamity, are pained by losses and challenged by set-backs. Despite this we possess resilience and adaptability. Somehow we manage to move on, to begin again.
Do you remember a time when the life you knew changed so dramatically that the loss you experienced took your breath away, leaving you wondering whether and how you would regain your equilibrium? Has your life ever been turned upside down? Can you identify with the need to start fresh? Has your way of life or career changed necessitating that you start over? Have you moved from one part of the country or the world and had to begin again? Has a major relationship come to an end prompting you to find a new friend or to embrace a new love?
All of these are familiar circumstances. Each of which requires resilience in order to triumph; resilience – the capacity to endure hardship, learn from the suffering and build a plan to overcome the challenge or obstacle placed before us.
If we are perfectly honest, we might admit that the choices facing us during times of adversity seem less than ideal. When the life we knew ceases to exist we can get stuck in our sadness, remain frozen by fear, stay absorbed with our anger or dally in our disappointment. But interestingly, after we have spent time moving through some or all of these states most of us spring forward ready to begin again, to start anew.
Knocked down, we rise determined and most often much stronger. Notwithstanding, resilience is not a DEFAULT SETTING. It is predicated on hope – hope for a better tomorrow and belief that we will prevail even against the odds. Hope is as essential to living a healthy life as clean air and water. Most of us have it – even during times when it is tested to the max. But that’s the beauty, it seems to be self-renewing!
Think about the last time that your reservoir of hope was taxed, almost depleted – then PAUSE. Remember how you picked yourself up, dusted yourself off and started over.
Perhaps imperceptible at first, you began to bounce back. You began to think and plan for the future, you moved forward into the life you would come to know, forgetting the familiar life that had provided comfort from the past. No doubt, it wasn’t easy. Many days you weren’t sure that you would rebound. Until, one day you realized that you hadn’t really had any other choice but to recover. You chose life and you allowed hope to resurge. You made room for your future.
Joseph Campbell famously reminded us that “we must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” In the past, when I was calm about how my life was progressing I found Campbell’s words inspiring. But in truth, when life knocked me down or took the proverbial wind out of my sails, these words were much harder to accept despite the wisdom they express.
. . . But glancing across the Hudson River seeing the new tower rise had a profound impact, I knew that my reservoir of hope had been fortified by this awe inspiring site. I knew that the next time life and circumstance turn my world upside down I will think of the World Trade Center rising above its devastating past – proclaiming endurance and determination. It is both a testament to humanity’s resilience and a reminder that even great disasters and overwhelming loss cannot suppress our resilience and the tenacity of hope!
